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Why is My Marriage Failing? Top Reasons

I’m Judy A. Oxford, and from handling divorce cases for many years, I’ve seen most everything. I’ve heard from people who decided they wanted a divorce because their spouse became too religious, as well as people who wanted to divorce because they found out that their spouse was using them for money, status, or a green card. The reasons for divorce are just as varied as the people who are divorcing.

However, there are some reasons that marriages fail that come up over and over again. Here are some of the most common ones:


It’s one of the oldest and most common reasons that marriages fail: You find out that your spouse has been having a romantic or sexual relationship with someone else. It may have been a one-time thing, or it may have gone on for years. It may have been one person, or it may have been multiple people. It also could be that you were the one who had an extramarital relationship.

Most people find infidelity to be an unforgivable offense, and many marriages do not recover from it. In Tennessee, the law requires the court to divide the marital assets fairly, “without regard to marital fault”. There is an extensive list of factors to be considered in deciding how that division happens. Since fault is not supposed to be considered, this means that you will not get a greater share of assets just because your spouse cheated. However, you may be able to show that marital assets were used to support the affair, and that could win you a greater share of the assets in the divorce.

Financial Troubles

Money is perhaps the second biggest reason that marriages fail. People may argue about how they spend their money, or they may argue because they are under great financial distress, such as because someone is unemployed, an illness makes it hard to make ends meet, or some other reason. Other couples have trouble because one person wants to have control over the money to the exclusion of the other one.

I help my client get to the bottom of their finances if the other person has been maintaining control over joint assets, or if there is suspicion that the other person was hiding assets. I fight to get my client a resolution that is fair, including the maximum share of assets that they deserve.

Constant Arguing

Marriage can be work, and some share of arguing is to be expected. But when you feel like all you ever do is argue, it’s no surprise when divorce is brought up. Arguing can be the result of communication problems, unresolved issues in the marriage, or a growing distance between you. If you have gone to marriage therapy and tried other ways to save your marriage, but the constant arguing persists, it may be time to visit a divorce attorney.

I help my clients try to resolve their divorces as quickly and amicably as possible so they hopefully don’t have to add the arguing of divorce to the many arguments they endured in the marriage.

Differences in Parenting

Having kids can also make rifts break out in a marriage. Kids put stress on a marriage that can make it harder for you to get along, creating more arguing. Kids also bring out major differences in your personal beliefs about discipline, religious instruction, schooling, and more.

I help my clients try to reach a resolution for their divorce as easily as possible, whether it is through reaching a fair settlement through mediation or having a hearing before the judge. I can help clients try to create a parenting plan that puts to rest some of their disagreements with their spouse about parenting.


Abuse can take many forms, and they can all be death to a marriage or to any other relationship. Your spouse may have been physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, or even sexually abusive. I help my clients divorcing an abusive spouse try to get whatever protective orders are necessary to prevent abuse from continuing, and I help them try to get the parenting plan orders they need to try to protect their children from that same abusive behavior.


Addiction, if not under control, is a disease that can seriously damage a marriage. Addiction takes a toll on those around the addict. It can take a toll on you physically and emotionally, and it can drain your finances and negatively impact your career. It can negatively affect the children.

Talk with an experienced divorce lawyer for guidance

Marriages can end for these and many other reasons. Whatever the reason for the end of your marriage, you need expert guidance and proper legal representation to help you through the divorce process, and to help you try to get a fair division of assets and the right parenting plan, child support, and even alimony, if appropriate. Call me, Judy A. Oxford, an experienced and dedicated divorce lawyer with my office in Franklin, to learn about your rights and responsibilities and to begin exploring your legal options. Call my office at (615) 791-8511 or use the secure form on my website to schedule a free consultation.